I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
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