woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
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