Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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