Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
I need to align my fucking chakras
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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