They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
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