physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
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