there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
