I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
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