i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
Randomize
