Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
Randomize
