The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
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