More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
Randomize
