Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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