next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Randomize
