My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
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