thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize