I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
