Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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