I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Randomize
