you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
