Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Randomize
