we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
