hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
you inspire me to be a worse person
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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