don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Randomize
