I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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