You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
A bitchslap is in order.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize