u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Randomize
