in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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