Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
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