too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
