i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Randomize
