the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
I want her autograph on my taint
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize
