I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
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