I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
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