Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
He had one of those small greek statue penises
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
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