we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
