I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
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