You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
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