maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Randomize
