the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
So gin and wine won't be happening again
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
