I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
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I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
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SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
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