it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
Randomize
