Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(903): View more from Texas

Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.

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(514): View more from Quebec

Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.

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(630): View more from Illinois

Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.

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(608): View more from Wisconsin

What can I say, I'm a giver.

(1-608): View more from Wisconsin

Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.

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(248): View more from Michigan

She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.

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(254): View more from Texas

I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend

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(612): View more from Minnesota

He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together

(1-612): View more from Minnesota

A true beacon of hope in these dark times

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(626): View more from California

Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.

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(518): View more from New York

she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night

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