If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
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