Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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