i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize
