plz talk dirty to me
if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Randomize
