Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
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