When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
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