I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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