apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
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