never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
Randomize
