Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
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