doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
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