hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
Randomize
