we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Randomize
