She said her name was "party"
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
