I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
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