i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
Randomize
