you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
Randomize
