Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
I'm bleeding and have questions
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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